Dude, sometimes I’m an asshole and I rly don’t mean it. Sorries around

As we all know, I’m a weirdo. Serious business, follow my online profile and you’ll notice a severe lack of brain to mouth filters and a surfeit of snark. As a result, I leave a trail of mildly offended people in my wake, or at least I assume that I do (people rarely talk to me more than once. Mostly because I’m so chicken I just freeze up when I don’t know what to say next.) I am not the kind of person able to carry on a long-term committment (other people have to carry me around. I’m more sub than I like to admit.)

Anyway, I should just stop using emoticons because they make me look like a real turd sandwich. I think I’m making a “Hey, making fun of myself” emoticon, but I find out later I’ve seriously misused the expression and I’m a jerk.

That’s kind of the reason why I have my tweets transcribed. So I can expand on thoughts or apologize for the careless things I sometimes say. Kindness goes a long way, but sometimes it’s hard for me because of my social anxiety.

I never make a very good first impression. Either too cold, too mean, or too shy. Then when I meet them, there’s all the people that don’t get that I’m joking 95% of the time, especially when I’m chatting on Twitter or talking in real life. I am the King of Awkward Conversations. I’m usually quiet, then I’ll go off about pop culture subjects out of the blue. Just an explosion of fannish glee.

I’m in the fandom closet. I mean, people know I like some pretty geeky stuff, but I’m like a loner otaku. Yet sometimes it just gets away from me and it all comes rushing out in a gush of [Firefly, Sherlock, robots, South Park, Avengers, Better Off Ted, Venture Brothers, 007, fanfic, squee, Spider-Man, Naruto, Superman, Terry McGinnis, Tim Drake, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, Andromeda] glee. I go from quiet glasses wearing Asian girl to wild-eyed super American fandom nerd. It’s kind of embarrassing, but there’s not a whole lot I can do about it.

There I am, spouting off and having a great time, totally having a manic moment. Everyone is my close friend and I let loose with my terrible sense of humor and lack of common sense. And that’s usually when I love the Twitter the most.

My life is hell.


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