Some chatter from my story “Tomahawk”

“Tomahawk” is my het novella-thing. Basically, two people meet online and find love. One is American, and one is British, so theirs is a long-distance affair.

Somehow, though, in my head I picture Toma as Arthur and Hawk as Eames when I’m writing their online chats. So confusing!

There’s just something so awful about not being able to differentiate between real fic and fanfic. Lol.

Anyways, at some point I’m going to have to find someone that can speak “real” Britspeak to go over this story and point out all the weirdness. I’m just so completely American that it’s not even funny. It’s like being diagnosed with an inoperable tumor– “Oh no, I have an American! In my brain!”

HAWK: what u wearing?

TOMA: Anything u want, baby.

HAWK: okay, so a raincoat and wellies.

TOMA: Wellies? What’s that?

HAWK: u know, rubber boots u wear in the rain

TOMA: Ah, sexy.

HAWK: well, u need to wear something, seeing as ur so wet.

TOMA: Rrowr

TOMA: What are U wearing?

HAWK: seeing as it’s past two here, I’m in just my pants.

TOMA: And that’s hot how? I’m wearing a tank top and boxer shorts, while ur fully dressed? How sexy can that be?

HAWK: no, love, pants is like ur American underpants.

TOMA: Ohhh. So why don’t u touch yourself?

HAWK: I thought u were going to be the one doing the touching?

TOMA: Don’t be a sexist tool.

TOMA: Now get ur hand in ur pants and start fondling.

TOMA: I wish I could see ur cock.

HAWK: it’s gigantic!

TOMA: Heh.

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